Within hours of my birth the Sun moved into the sign of Cancer. Quadruple Gemini that I am, I had to wait almost a year to feel the warmth of the Sun transiting my natal Mercury, Venus and Moon, culminating in my first Solar Return on the actual day of my birthday, the June Solstice. Maybe it's that my birthday season is conveniently opposed to the Christmas holidays, falling on a day when a cause for celebration is a welcome break midway through the calendar year, maybe it's that I'm an only child, or maybe it's just that I have to wait so long for the Sun and faster moving planets to arrive in "my" sign; whatever the reason, I definitely fall into the category of those who love having a birthday (I wish everyone could feel this joy). Getting older is for me a thrill with the built in sense that it beats the alternative. I begin to get excited about my impending birthday as early as March ... it comes, it's over and then it's Cancer time. The Sun is in the territory of the Zodiac which most bewilders me, the part of my natal chart inhabited solely by my challenging North Node. Inconjunctions abound. Undoubtedly I cried myself a river during my inaugural Cancer season - most all of us share a stake in the ocean of tears to be navigated in the first year of life. As an adult I've been for many years unable to ignore that the period immediately following my birthday has been one way or another less enjoyable for me than the period leading up to it. Maybe everyone feels this anticlimactic "back to reality" mood after a birthday. But I do want to observe that part of my discomfort with the season is the inescapable emotion of it all.
As a teen investigating sun sign fundamentals, I generalized early on that my Cancerian friends were moody. As I grew older and read more astrology books and took some courses, I learned of the Moon's dominion over the sign and that our emotions are indeed highlighted at this time. Layer by layer I grew to FEEL that I understood what it means that Cancer is a water sign, associated with the archetype of The Mother, the tides, the shoreline, the ocean, the crab, the home, and Tears, Stupid Tears (so sung about by emotive Daniel Johnston - you can hear his song on the attached Zodiac Soundtrack). Emotions. Feelings. The canon of musical works inspired by these Cancerian themes is as limitless as the ocean, as ubiquitous as the Moon. Everybody has a mama. Everyone cries. We all need a place to call home. And we all need to care and be cared for. Most of us agree upon the nourishment contained in home cooking. Does Cancer in fact rule the world? Of course the Sun is the real boss of our Solar System and Everybody Loves the Sunshine. But that mystical old Moon is the stuff of nursery rhymes and early wonder. Emotions engulf us, often seeming bigger than even our most essential selves. We have days when we aren't feeling ourselves , unable to reach ourselves through the feelings. Most of us are familiar with the latest lingo describing "all the feels", or being “in one's feelings“. I feel that it's always practically impossible to avoid these "unmental" states of mind at this time of year. So while the emotional tide is high and I'm holding on, I'm practicing leaning in to my feelings, taking in a tear jerker or two (in an air conditioned theater), listening to my Current Mood -- Cancerian Zodiac Soundtrack on repeat and looking forward to Leo season.